Michael Thomas has it Easy

What was I thinking buying a bike? In San Francisco, all you gotta do is pick a route that doesn't have hills. And then you just sit back and yell at people for opening their car doors in front of you, or stopping in front of you, or making a right turn in front of you. Life is good on a bike in San Francisco.
.
Here, shit. Not only do I have to choose my routes based on the directions of the streets (they're all one way, and going the wrong way is a death wish), but I gotta find one going my way without cobblestones and without busses! It's madness.
And there are no stopsigns in this city - or at least not any that actually mean stop. So you just gotta ride and time it - if you make it to the intersection before the car comin' at you, you're golden. But then, I swear to god, there's a huge pothole right before the entrance to every intersection. So I'm watching to my right, I see the car barreling down, I got it, got it, yep I'm in there - wham! I hit the fucking pot hole and my hands slip down my cruiser's handlebars, and I almost lose my footing and jesus christ, what the hell was I thinking?!
But I'm gettin it down. I probably should have taken the hint when I had to take back the first (brand new) bike I bought (for US$60) because it broke the second day I was on it. Broke. Just stopped. No way to get across an intersection.