The Great Patagonian Sweet & Sour Lamb Cake Express

God, I can't keep eating like this. This job is gonna kill me. Every night a new restaurant, every night another plate of rich food. I'm not some restaurant critic who dines out every saturday night for the weekly food section. I gotta bust out reviews for 90 restaurants in the same number of days. Steaks the size of footballs, chicken in blackberry curry, flourless chocolate cake, beef in smoked Spanish pepper sauce, sweet and sour pork, Patagonian lamb pie, mandongo, tripe and sausage locro, sweetbreads, intestines, pork loin in apple saffron sauce, greasy lomitos, fried bananas.... My god. This is just not the path to a healthy life. Which is why Aimee and I chase every meal down with a bottle of red wine. It is my only key to health. If it weren't for the fabulous cheap red wine, I'd probably be dead already. As it is, I'm healthier than most. But whoa, I could sure use some more rice and veggies.